Motherly Tendencies

As I was driving home at lunch today, I was doing what I do best. I was multi-tasking like crazy. This is not uncommon for me. I am often doing many things at once. But don't be scared. I am fully capable. I know that's what everyone says, but, really, I'm one of those people that really is capable. So don't worry about me while I text, eat, check my makeup, and observe the scenery around me all while driving. Seriously it's no problem for me.

I was being extra careful today while following through with my driving habits because it was also raining. This created an additional element to my driving scenario described above. The rain was coming down pretty good but sometimes it would turn to a heavy mist so I kept switching my windshield wipers back and forth from the low setting to a little faster setting. To the low setting. To a little lower setting (because when I would stop the car at a stoplight, the sky would just kind of spit on my windshield). So I'm going along, flipping, switching, texting, and changing lanes when all of a sudden, something catches my eye. There were some kids, they were high school age, walking along side the road and what first caught my eye is the fact that one of the girls was wearing no coat and had no umbrella. And then, I noticed that not only was this the same for a boy in the group but he was also walking. on. the road. I instantly yelled out, "Crazy children! You're going to get yourselves killed!" as if they could hear me with my rolled up windows driving by at 40 miles per hour. I shook my head disapprovingly and thought about what their mothers would think if she saw them right now.

Then it hit me. I was one of them. No, no, not the kids. No, I was one of those ad-ults who seems like they just don't know how to have a good time. I have never forgotten one time, many years ago, when I was probably 11 or 12 years old, this lady stopped me just after I had finished crossing the road on my bike. I had a drink in one hand that I had just purchased from Common Cents. I was with a friend and we were both going along feeling good about summertime and yummy drinks and riding bikes when all of a sudden someone rolls up in a car next to me and starts talking to me out her window. She told me that it was dangerous to ride my bike across the intersection, let alone with a drink in one of my hands and next time I should walk my bike across the street. I probably looked at her like she was crazy, because, frankly, that's what I was thinking. I mean, I never felt an inkling of danger, well, maybe I did a little bit, as I was trying to hold on to my drink and not fall off my bike all while not run into any of the cars stopped at the stoplight, but really, I never felt like I was doing something dangerous. So when she told me that, I just said ok and she drove off and off we went juggling our drinks in one hand and riding our bikes home.

The funny thing is that scene has replayed itself in my head a few times over the years, for no particular reason really, other than something will trigger the memory, and I'll just think how weird that lady was that she felt the need to follow us off the main road to discipline us. But today was the first day where that memory was triggered and I was a little horrified to feel a sort of kinship with that lady. I suddenly understood her desire to keep us safe even though she didn't know who the heck we were but she knew we were someone's kids and she probably hoped that if someone saw her daughter doing what I had done, they would tell her how wrong it was too. And all of a sudden I realized, I was old. I wasn't thinking about how fun it is to walk in the rain or the attention I would receive from other people who saw that I had been "caught" in the rain or the bonding I was experiencing with my friends who were also "caught" in the rain that day. No, my instantaneous thought was "You kids are going to catch your death of cold, you fools! And get out of the road. You're going to get yourself killed!" The horror. I felt like a mom. I will never again relive that memory and wonder why that lady acted so rashly. No. I will think how there should be more people in the world like her. That care. So much. But I'm not ready to join that club quite yet. I need time to mourn the loss of the child in me.