Jayden's Birth Story - Part 1

So I almost completely forgot that I wanted to write about the day Jayden was born! Oh my, I would have kicked myself later if I never wrote about it. Actually I am kicking myself because Jayden is 5 months old today! 5 months might as well be an eternity since my memory is not what it used to be but I'll do my best.

Also, let this be your warning that there may be more details here then you want to know and it's a long post. You're warned and now you may continue.

If you dare.

At 39 weeks I had my weekly appointment with Esther, my midwife, and I was 2 cm dilated and already 75% effaced, which in obstetrics terms means I was doing great! It often takes women a long time to get 75% effaced and I wasn't even in labor yet and already there (actually technically that is labor but since I wasn't having consistent contractions that were getting "longer, stronger and closer together", it wasn't active labor). I asked Esther when she thought I would have the baby and she said it could be that day or 2 more weeks! So really there was no way to tell. I was praying to God that it wouldn't be 2 more weeks. I had no intentions of being overdue. Also a concern of ours was that DJ would be out of town when I went into labor. My due date, September 7, was 3 days before DJ would head to Texas for the first away game. I really couldn't imagine what that would be like to have a less than a week old baby (or a baby that was due any minute!) and have my husband leave me. So we also discussed being induced during that appointment. If I was still pregnant the following week at my next appointment, that was probably the route we would take but it was not one that I was thrilled with. My intention was to have a completely drug-free birth and given that you have to start a a birth with drugs when you're induced and those drugs usually cause very hard painful contractions, that didn't sound promising. So my goal that week was to do everything I could to have that baby!

On September 1, I started noticing the Braxton Hicks contractions more and more frequently. That afternoon about 4:00 I decided to start timing them and making a note of the length and time between contractions. (That was weird. I remember thinking, I'm timing my contractions, which is what women do when they think they are going to have a baby. I MIGHT BE HAVING A BABY TODAY. I wasn't too sure I was up for it.) The contractions were 8 minutes apart so I texted DJ and told him that the contractions were more regular but they weren't painful yet. I didn't think he needed to come home from work. I was a little confused about the lack of pain since I thought when I went into labor, I WOULD KNOW because of the PAIN. No pain. So I thought surely this couldn't be the real thing. And yet, the contractions were getting longer, stronger and closer together. That was what they said to look for.

DJ came home from work and I started dinner. We didn't call our parents because I still wasn't sure if this was the real thing. I was still having consistent contractions but they still weren't hurting. I remember feeling like this was all so weird because I had never had a baby before and I didn't want to freak out about some little contractions that weren't even hurting. But they were getting slightly closer together and a little longer. I called Esther and told her what was happening but I said I didn't really know when I should go into the hospital because I was so confused by the lack of pain. Esther said to just continue monitoring the contractions and when they were about 5 minutes apart to come in. I figured, and I think she did to, that we would be headed in later that night.

However, we made it through the night. I remember waking up around 2 am and noticed that the contractions had started hurting a little but since nothing seemed urgent, I went back to sleep. I was really hoping to get a full night of sleep in before I had to exert my energy having this baby! I finally got up about 6 and took a shower. By 8, the contractions were 6 or less minutes apart and definitely hurting. I could still somewhat talk through a contraction but it wasn't something that I enjoyed. My body would tense up and I would just try to breath normally but I knew it was time. I just remember sitting on the couch with Maia and thinking "here we go!"

We got our things together, headed to the hospital and called our parents along the way. I remember feeling excited, a little nervous and ready. I was finally going to meet this baby that I had been growing for the past 39 weeks and 2 days!

Since we were going to the hospital during its normal operating hours, we were able to enter through normal admissions (as opposed to the night when we had the little scare when I was 36 weeks along and had to be admitted through the ER). Since the contractions weren't really that close (but close enough), again, it felt weird saying that I was there to have a baby. I mean, you always see on tv with the woman breathing really heavy and yelling that she's having a baby and someone rushes a wheelchair over to her. But in all reality, it was very calm. When I had a contraction while I was filling out paperwork, I just waited for it to pass and then continued what I was doing. Thankfully there wasn't much paperwork TO do since we had completed most of it that night we came in to the ER. And then a wheelchair did come and we made our way calmly to the room where I would labor and deliver. (I now know how great it is that we never had to leave the room we started in. I was able to make myself at home and not have to worry about being carted all over the place as I progressed through labor and then finally delivered the baby.)

At this point, time kind of moved in a blur and things progressed fairly quickly (for a first time mother). I changed into a gown, they hooked me up to some monitors to see how I was progressing and confirmed that I was, in fact, having contractions. And consistent, "good" ones they were. I remember being happy to hear that because I really didn't want to get sent home. In fact, the one time that they said I could go home and labor there since it seemed like the contractions weren't really getting much closer together (they stayed at 4 minutes apart for what seemed like a long time), I was quick to say no. If anything, that made me more determined to do everything I could to move things right along. I did NOT want to go home and have to wait any longer. Once they finished monitoring me, I declined having an IV or meds so I could do some walking. As I said before, my intentions were to have a drug-free birth so I knew I had to stay upright as much as possible to allow gravity to work its magic. I also declined a hep lock which would allow fluids to be quickly and easily administered but I knew that if I gave myself that "out" it may become too easy to take later on.

Esther was so great at giving me all sorts of ideas. When one thing seemed to stop working, she would suggest something else to help with the pain. First I walked the halls around and around and around, leaning on DJ anytime I would have a contraction. I have a feeling this was probably a little embarrassing for him and it would have been an embarassing situation for me too since I tend to be a bit shy about showing pain or being out of my comfort zone but I just buried my face in his neck and focused on breathing until the contraction ended and then we kept walking. I'm sure I looked a little funny and one of the nurses even commented that my gown was hanging funny in the back under my robe but I didn't really care. I was so afraid of the labor stopping or of it lasting forever that I was willing to do anything. And thankfully the floor wasn't all that busy at the moment.

When the walking got old and the contractions were getting stronger, we went back to the room and I tried sitting on an exercise ball. I really didn't care too much for that method. I tried it for a little while but I couldn't get in a comfortable enough position so Esther suggested using the bed and leaning over the bed when I would have a contraction. That worked for a long time and it seemed to work but again the contractions were getting even stronger and I started thinking that maybe I couldn't do this without drugs. At first, any time I mentioned pain or that I might need an epidural after all eventually, DJ was quick to offer going to get a nurse. Finally I told him that was not helping my goal of trying to have a natural birth and that I needed him to try to distract me or offer me other drug free options instead. He was so great after that and I couldn't have done it without him.

At one point Esther wanted to check how I was progressing so I got back into bed and let me tell you, that. was not. a pleasant. experience. It was so painful, worse than any of the contractions that I had been having, and it made me cry. So she promised she wouldn't check me again until I was ready to push and I don't think I would have let her anyway. I feel so bad for those poor women that get checked multiple times just for the doctor's sake or peace of mind or whatever. That was a horrible thing.

After we found out that I was about 6 or 7 cm dilated, I decided to get in the bath tub. I sat in the tub with the jets on for a good long while. That was a great place to labor and I would possibly consider a water birth the next time I have a baby because the water just makes you so weightless and relieves some of the pressure. Plus the warm water is very soothing.

After getting out of the tub, again time is a blur and I have no idea of any of the times for anything other then when we got to the hospital and when Jayden was born, but after getting out of the tub, I really didn't feel like walking anymore but I didn't want to lay down because I was afraid of labor slowing down so Esther suggested that I kneel backwards on the bed, when it was in an upright position, and hold on to the top and sink down on my heels each time I had a contraction. I would never have thought of doing any of this so I was so grateful she was there. Since we were fortunate that no one else was having a baby right then that needed her assistance, she was able to act as my doula as well. I will forever be so grateful to her. She was awesome!

At some point, I decided that I kind of felt like pushing but since this was an entirely new experience to me, I didn't know what that was supposed to feel like! I was so confused so I think part of the reason that I really didn't push all that long (only 45 minutes, which actually seems like a long time to me but since then, I have heard "horror" stories of pushing for HOURS) but anyway, I don't think I pushed very long because I started pushing before my body was fully ready. Obviously I'll know better for next time but this first time was a learning experience. At some point, my water broke. I believe it was right before Jayden's head appeared and then I remember seriously thinking that I was going to literally split apart. It's probably good that I'm writing this now and not right after he was born because at this point, I would have started going on and on about how incredibley horrible it was but now, I just remember knowing and thinking it was horrible but I don't actually remember vividly why it was so horrible, if that makes any sense. But anyway, I just know that once Jayden made his appearance, I was just so glad it was over. And thank God that the memory is biased and in this case, I only remember the good things.

Unfortunately there was some meconium in the amniotic fluid when my water finally broke, so they had to call Dr. Kleppinger (Dr. Klep), Jayden's doctor, who acts as the "neonatal care" since there is no neonatal unit at the Laramie hospital. As soon as Jayden was born they took him directly over to the warming bassinet and started working on him. I'm not sure of these details since I was still presently occupied, but I'm told they were cleaning out his mouth and trying to get him to cry. They brought him over to me for a minute and I remember looking at him and thinking, "ohhhhh. This is MY baby. But oh my gosh, I'm still in so much pain." Needless to say the euphoria of the moment did not make me forget that I still needed to deliver the placenta and be stitched up ( I had a small tear). I was still in quite a bit of pain.

I do remember however feeling so incredibly in love with DJ as soon as it was over. I really didn't think I would be weepy or dramatic about the moment and I didn't cry (DJ did which the nurses LOVED. They said they just love seeing a dad who is so into the moment and totally THERE with his wife.) But I was surprised at how close I felt to DJ. He was so fantastic through the whole delivery. He was everything I needed when I needed it and he always said the right things and I never once got mad at him. He will tell you though that at one point I attempted to strangle the life out of him. But this was completely unintentional I assure you. I was pushing with every fiber in my body and I guess I just tugged on him a little too hard at one point. I can't say I feel bad about it considering the circumstances. I was having a baby for goodness sake and I can't be held responsible for whatever I did to make it happen. (I tease of course.)

So they took Jayden to the nursery and DJ went with him. Meanwhile Esther finished up the process of delivering the placenta and giving me some stitches. Now this is the part where I was very misinformed. People have always told me and I've always seen on the birthing shows that this part is not supposed to hurt! I was supposed to be in this love-induced haze where I only had eyes for my newborn baby but hello! This was a painful hour! And I had no baby to at least partly distract me! And my husband was not there either! Definitely the second worst part of the whole process. I'd almost consider having an epidural the next time if only to just avoid all that pain afterwards.

I feel like I should probably stop here and continue later in Part 2 since this much of the story has taken me quite awhile to write and at this point, Jayden may be 6 months old before I finish. But I will finish Part 1 by saying that I am so glad that I was able to do the whole labor and delivery with no drugs whatsoever. Plus since I was good about drinking water the whole time, I didn't even need an IV. I really hope to do it the same way next time. I firmly believe that all the moving around that I did during labor helped with a natural delivery. And Esther was also a key component. I will never deliver with a doctor. I will always have a midwife. And maybe I'll even have other options next time like a water delivery. Oh and I would hope to never have to deliver without my husband there. Those three things made my delivery "magical". (I say that with quotation marks because really, delivery is anything but magical which evokes notions of fairy dust and warm fuzzy feelings. But it was magical in the sense that it is a miracle and a natural part of life that ends with the best reward a person could ever ask for.)