Breastfeeding Adventures

It feels a little awkward to have the word "breast" in a title on my blog that I know my dad and father in law may read but we're all adults right? And it IS nothing new after all. Breastfeeding is just a fact of life for millions of people all over the world and now for me too. And don't worry, I won't include any pictures on this post.

I've been wanting to write a post about this for awhile because breastfeeding was something that I was very much looking forward to before Jayden was born. I can't tell you why exactly because obviously it wasn't something I had ever done before but I think it was because I knew it could potentially play a significant role in the first year of Jayden's life and in our relationship as mother and son.

However, as far as setting myself up for success, I really didn't do a very good job.

First of all my knowledge of breastfeeding was slim to none before Jayden's birth. I attended one class at the La Leche League (I had intended to attend more but they were only held once a month and between moving from Tennessee and living in Rapid City for a month, I was only in town for the one meeting before Jayden was born.) and started reading a book written by La Leche League International (a very informative book that I would recommend to new breastfeeding mothers, FYI). Other than that I figured I would just, well, figure it out!

Secondly, a lot of the breastfeeding resources will tell you that you need a solid support system in order to be successful in breastfeeding for an entire year. I had some friends who breastfed their kids but they were not very successful past the first few months. The topic of breastfeeding never really came up with other friends that had kids. In fact, it's interesting that the whole topic really isn't discussed that much. Especially now that I know more about it and have learned just how prevalent it is in other cultures. And besides friends, I also never discussed the topic with my own mother or mother-in law. Again, not really something that came up over coffee. So I was 0-2 on the preparation front.

But in spite of the lack of preparation, breastfeeding has been successful. Jayden hasn't had a drop of formula and only one time has he had a bottle. And if you haven't noticed from the pictures, he's growing fine, more than fine really. He's off the charts.

(Regarding that one bottle, during the first week, when Jayden was still trying to figure out how to latch on and I had a TON of milk meaning that it made it even more difficult for him to latch on, he would understandably get so upset. Oftentimes this would happen in the middle of the night so one night, much to my dismay, we decided to feed some pumped milk to Jayden from a bottle. A major no-no because it's especially important those first few weeks that the baby only feed from the breast so there's no nipple confusion. I was so upset that we had given him a bottle that I didn't even consider giving him a bottle again until he was 8 weeks old.)

Anyway it's made me wonder why I've been successful with breastfeeding. Why, when I often give up with other less demanding situations, have I been able to stick it through with this particular thing? And I think it comes down to the fact that I wanted it to work so badly. If any of you know me well, you know that I can be stubborn. OK, I can be really stubborn. A lot of times that quality works against me, but in this case I think that's really all I had going for me. Had I not wanted it to work so badly, I don't think Jayden would have been breastfed past the first 2 weeks. It was incredibly demanding, painful and frustrating. But I kept going because in my mind, if I would have quit, I would have felt like a HUGE failure. And I just couldn't live with that, always wondering if things would have been different if I just kept going. I felt like I had to deal with the pain and just suck it up but let me tell you, it was not easy. And now I'm so so glad that I did stick with it because Jayden and I have pretty much found our groove.

(Please note that I don't blame anyone or look down on anyone or think anyone is a failure if they didn't breastfeed or didn't breastfeed very long. These are all my own personal sentiments about myself and myself only. The end.) 

Probably about 3 months in, I could say that breastfeeding was no problem. I had pretty much encountered all types of different scenarios at that point, well... except for one place. I absolutely cannot feel comfortable breastfeeding during a church service. Other women can do it. Not me. I leave church and feed Jayden in the reception hall where there's a couch. That would just be too weird to feed Jayden during Mass. But movie theaters, restaurants, friends' houses, family members' homes, malls, anywhere else, I've got it taken care of. In a few years this probably won't seem like such a huge accomplishment but, as my mother has often reminded me since I had Jayden, it is very unusual for me to feel so comfortable just "whipping out a boob" sotospeak, in front of anyone and everyone. (Thank you mom for reminding me that I am no longer as bashful as I once was. Childbirth has a way of doing that to a person.) And anyway, I'm all covered up for heaven's sake.

I definitely hope to share more of my experiences with others like myself, pre-Jayden, and I also hope that, because I do feed Jayden in public, it will become less of an anomaly and there will be a time when people won't even think twice about it. Honestly, the world of blogging has opened my eyes to things that I'm so glad I found out about before I had Jayden. Because others were willing to be frank about their views on breastfeeding (and other "crunchy" topics [FYI, crunchy = earthy, hippy, etc]), I was able to learn from them and in turn, make a great decision for myself and my baby.

I could probably go on and on but I will end here for now and just say that, in case you are wondering, I won't be one of those people that breastfeeds their kid till he's 4 or 5 years old. That will not be me. I may be a little crunchier then some, but I am not THAT crunchy.

I'm an Exercising Fool

Today has been a great day already! I finally made it out this morning to go walk with the other wives/moms that I know here in Laramie before my nanny arrived and I had to get to work. I have seriously been trying to go walking since we moved here and I'm just now getting my act together. These women walk almost every day - it's actually pretty impressive because almost all of them have young kids (all WILL have kids in another month or two - one of them is due in March with her first baby) so it takes a little more effort to get out there. But I guess it's better late than never for me!

It felt so good to get some exercise in finally! I also got outside and walked over to a friend's house yesterday afternoon since we were having somewhat of a heat wave - I think it got up to 30 degrees. My exercise goal is coming to fruition and I couldn't be more thrilled. I can't wait to have my non-jiggly tummy back. I have a new Xbox game coming in the mail today as well. It's an exercise game that works with the Kinect so between the walking and the game, I should have my 6 pack again in no time at all (ha, ha, as if I could ever be devoted to working out enough to have a 6 pack!)

Since I really don't have an entire post to devote to these pictures, I'll just post them randomly here.

DJ's boss took his staff out to dinner the other night so Momma and Jayden (and Daddy of course) were headed out on the town. Jayden was dressed to the nines in his blue jeans.

Jayden likes to bury his head into my shoulder when he sleeps. Sometimes I'm not even sure he has room to breathe but right there on Momma's shoulder is where he likes it. And of course that's right where I like him too.

I caught Jayden sucking his thumb while he was sleeping the other day. Sadly, it won't be so cute in a few months when we'll need to break him of that habit but for now I console myself by the fact that he doesn't seem too attached to it.

We love to lay on the floor and talk to Jayden and he seems to love it too!

Roll over, Roll over - The Name of the Game

I get such a kick out of Jayden as he tries to roll over.

I love watching his little tiny legs shoot up in the air and then faaaalll to the side. He can do this over and over but those darn legs just keep getting in the way in order for him to keep going and make that full roll!

Jayden Milestones: Jayden is finally figuring out that he can reach for things and grab hold. I realized that his mind works just like his daddy's. He looks at something and you can just see his mind working. I think he has to fully think something through before he takes that first step, so to speak. I've been watching him as he contemplates reaching out for grab hold but he's just now decided to give it a try. Last night he reached for Ernie (his stuffed elephant with all sorts of "bells and whistles" attached) and took hold of the rings and then kept holding as I lifted him up! I was very proud.

New Year's Resolutions

I've never been one to make an official New Year's resolution but I do think the beginning of the year is a good time to make changes. It always gets me thinking about what I want to do better, newer, more of, different over the next year.

This year I've got healthy on the brain.

Healthy eating.

Healthy living.

Healthy lifestyle.

I know why, of course. It's all because of Jayden. I think when you have a brand new little life that you're completely in charge of, naturally, you don't want to scre..um, mess it up. (Jayden might read this some day. Gotta watch my language ya know.)

But even before Jayden came along, DJ and I have tried making changes to our lives a little at a time to make them healthier. Some specific things that we have changed... We make a conscious attempt at eating more veggies. We try to drink a lot of water every day. We stopped using popular brands of peanut butter. We check the ingredients of foods that we buy and if possible, we make things from scratch, like spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce, that sort of thing. 

But I want to continue to take those healthy steps forward because I think we... I can do better!

Another thing that has been on my mind in terms of "bettering myself" is BEING INTENTIONAL. Being intentional in my marriage, in my relationship with God, in my role as a mother and as a woman. Instead of just taking what life gives me, I want to have a say in it.

I don't want to just be satisfied with a good marriage; I want it to be GREAT.

I don't want to just say that "I'm a Christian"; I want my life to reflect God's goodness through my ACTIONS.

I don't want to just "make it" as a mother; I want to be a ROLE MODEL.

I don't want to just live with my new postpartum body; I want to be FIT and make my husband PROUD.

I think reflecting on our lives at the beginning of the year is a good thing. It gives us an opportunity to switch directions if we aren't quite going the way we want to be headed.

Jayden Milestones: This really isn't a milestone per se, but Jayden went 5 hours today without eating! Which means, of course, that I worked for 5 uninterrupted hours! That hasn't happened since August 13. It was definitely enough to make us (as in the nanny and I) stop and take notice. Jayden slept for 3 of those hours so I guess he was just wiped and food took second to sleep today.

Nicolette, the nanny, took Jayden on a quick little walk today but he didn't last long before he was out.

My Experience so far with Cloth Diapers

I rediscovered cloth diapering (CD) a couple of years ago when I started reading blogs. Before that I knew about CD, like the old-fashioned kind, since that's what my mom used on me and my brother, but I had no idea how they had evolved since then. I have to say that I'm a firm believer in CD now. It's efficient, healthy, environmentally friendly, and most importantly, a cost saver. I think anyone can do it.

This was taken the first week that I started the diapers. He has a fitted diaper on with a Velcro cover on top. I think we started using the diapers when Jayden was about 2 weeks old. At that point, I was VERY overwhelmed at the idea of trying another new thing, but I was determined to use them since we had spent hundreds of dollars to set up our stash. I knew that if I didn't just buck up and start using them, I never would and I would be so disappointed in myself.

After the first week of CD, I was still wary about using the diapers, especially because they seemed SO BIG on my teeny little baby but it was beginning to get easier and easier. I remember one of the reasons that I didn't like the cloth diapers was because they seemed to make my baby seem so much bigger. His little newborn tushy turned into a normal size baby tushy. To my postpartum brain, that was really disturbing since I wasn't ready for him to get big yet. I laugh about that now especially because he is off the charts!

We were using prefolds, fitted diapers and pocket diapers in the newborn size that first month. I found, after a few weeks, that it really wasn't feasible to use the diapers at night because Jayden is such a heavy wetter so we changed to disposables at night and we continue to do that. It's so much easier to just leave Jayden in one diaper all night long (since he doesn't usually have a dirty diaper at night) and get that much more sleep then to have to change his diaper 2-3 times during the night. I know there are different ways to make a diaper more absorbent but right now, I am content using one disposable diaper a day.

Our routine with CD continues to evolve as we get more and more comfortable with the process. I actually find myself hurrying to put a cloth diaper on him in the mornings just so I can take the disposable one off. Jayden's skin seems to get more red with the disposables and the cloth diapers are just so soft against his skin. We also have just recently started leaving him in the cloth diapers when we go out of the house. Before, I would change him into a disposable but now we just bring a bag along with us to put the dirty diaper in. I have really found that it is no more challenging. We've also just recently purchased more pocket diapers so we use those almost exclusively. I like the pocket diapers the best because they are less bulky and easy to put on. I do laundry every other day but even that doesn't seem like a burden because it has just become part of my life.

Sure, there's a learning curve involved but after the first few weeks, it becomes second nature just like everything else involved with parenthood.

I have found that there's always something new to add to the mix, some things are new because Jayden is changing and some things are a result of new discoveries or decisions that DJ and I make as parents. The next thing I'm considering is using cloth wipes so I'll keep you posted. And after that we get to experience solid food poo. That adds a whole other step to the CD process!

One of our bumming days over our Christmas break

Jayden Milestones: Jayden is getting better with the use of his hands. He still doesn't reach for things but if something comes into contact with his hands, he'll grasp hold of it. I can tell he gets frustrated because he wants to grab at something but he just hasn't figured out how to do it yet. He hasn't rolled over again since the first two times over Christmas, but at this point, I think he may start crawling before he rolls again! He tries so hard to get his knees up under himself when he's on his stomach and sometimes he'll lift his whole lower body off the floor. We put him in his jumper for the first time this week since he loves to kick his legs when we hold him. He liked it a lot but didn't last too long in it the first time. He still needs to gain a little more control of himself I think before he will really love it.

Contagious Laughter

Who doesn't love to be around someone with a contagious laugh? I think Jayden may have that characteristic.

I was listening to his belly and for some reason, Jayden found that hilarious.

At the end of that video, he starts to fill his diaper, hence the startled exclamation from me as I move away.

We have hired two nannies to watch Jayden while I work. After posting a want ad, conducting interviews and talking it through, I think we've chosen a couple of great girls. Both have watched Jayden a few days so far and he really seems to love them which is the most important thing.

We had a rough start with nannies in the beginning. The first one I hired quit after the third day and now I've developed a complex. Because my first nanny quit so quickly, I'm afraid that these nannies will do the same thing. I worry that Jayden will be affected by having so many different people watching him all the time. During the interim before hiring permanent nannies, we had two babysitters that would watch Jayden off and on. So, so far, he's had 3 different caregivers, plus me and DJ. And now he has 2 more. It seems like too many but I'm hoping these two nannies, Barbara and Nicolette, will be the last ones for a long time.

As a result of my fears I have been trying to make this the best job Barbara and Nicolette have ever had. I don't ask much of them and I try to stay flexible but on the other hand, I don't want to be walked all over either. They agreed to do some cleaning for me as well when Jayden takes his naps but it's hard for me to tell them to "Please clean the bathroom", "Please put away the dishes",  "Please vacuum the floor", etc because part of me feels like I could just as easily do it myself and I don't want to be telling them what to do all the time. I typed up a comprehensive list of "Things They Could Do While Jayden is Sleeping" so I wouldn't have to keep telling them but they didn't seem to catch on that I just wanted them to DO the cleaning and not have to be TOLD to do the cleaning. Ugh. I think it comes down to the fact that I really just don't like asking for help at all. That, and I haven't developed the specialized skill of delegating very well. Some would say that I'm good at bossing people around but that's really not something to be proud of now, is it? Maybe that should be one of my New Year's resolutions. I'll have to think about that. It's all just another step in the process of learning how to be a mom!

Jayden Milestones: Something we have noticed about Jayden is that he is afraid of sudden or loud noises. I don't think this is unusual for babies but it's something I have to be careful of. I've had to watch how I react to things especially. One day, when he first started chewing on his hands (he does this all the time now), he gagged himself when he put his hand too far into his mouth. Naturally that alarmed me and I jerked his hand out of his mouth. The poor little guy didn't realize that he had done anything wrong since it doesn't bother HIM when he gags and he began wailing. I felt so bad because I knew I had scared him. Those cries are the worst and it's all I can do to not cry with him because I feel so bad knowing I caused those tears. 

8 mon..er...4 months old!

Jayden had his 4 month appointment yesterday and the doctor told us he's the size of an 8 month old. 100th percentile for height (27 inches) and 85th percentile for weight (16 pounds, 12 ounces)! He actually weighs less than I thought he did since I was guessing about 20 pounds.

It's amazing how quickly my priorities have changed since Jayden was born. I knew it would happen but the impact of his arrival has been dramatic nonetheless. One of the priorities that quickly shifted to the bottom of the pile was this blog unfortunately. I would have loved to have kept it up but it just wasn't meant to be apparently. I'm just going to keep trying to post as much as I can!

Jayden turned 4 months old on Sunday. We dressed him in his finest for church that day and had an impromptu photo shoot when we got home since I never got his 3 month photos taken.

I can't get enough of this little guy; he keeps us entertained for hours. And he seems to always have a smile on his face. Even when he's sick, which he is right now. He has his first cold and it's heartbreaking. He coughs and sneezes and sometimes will spit up because he has so much gick in the back of his throat. But we'll still smile at him and he smiles right back.

This picture is a classic encounter between these two. DJ and Jayden talk, talk talk. Jayden is the most animated with his daddy and I love it. It's so precious to watch them make silly noises back and forth to each other.

Jayden Milestones: Jayden is getting more and more animated every day these days. He's started squealing and full out laughing which humors DJ and I to no end. He loves to look at himself in the mirror and tries so hard to roll over when he's on his back. He is constantly kicking his legs UP in the air and then OVER to the side. He rolled over the first time while we were in Rapid City for Christmas but it was from his stomach to his back. He also loves to sit up, and it always looks like he's trying to do sit ups when he's laying on his back because his little stomach strains with his efforts to pull himself up.