Breastfeeding Adventures

It feels a little awkward to have the word "breast" in a title on my blog that I know my dad and father in law may read but we're all adults right? And it IS nothing new after all. Breastfeeding is just a fact of life for millions of people all over the world and now for me too. And don't worry, I won't include any pictures on this post.

I've been wanting to write a post about this for awhile because breastfeeding was something that I was very much looking forward to before Jayden was born. I can't tell you why exactly because obviously it wasn't something I had ever done before but I think it was because I knew it could potentially play a significant role in the first year of Jayden's life and in our relationship as mother and son.

However, as far as setting myself up for success, I really didn't do a very good job.

First of all my knowledge of breastfeeding was slim to none before Jayden's birth. I attended one class at the La Leche League (I had intended to attend more but they were only held once a month and between moving from Tennessee and living in Rapid City for a month, I was only in town for the one meeting before Jayden was born.) and started reading a book written by La Leche League International (a very informative book that I would recommend to new breastfeeding mothers, FYI). Other than that I figured I would just, well, figure it out!

Secondly, a lot of the breastfeeding resources will tell you that you need a solid support system in order to be successful in breastfeeding for an entire year. I had some friends who breastfed their kids but they were not very successful past the first few months. The topic of breastfeeding never really came up with other friends that had kids. In fact, it's interesting that the whole topic really isn't discussed that much. Especially now that I know more about it and have learned just how prevalent it is in other cultures. And besides friends, I also never discussed the topic with my own mother or mother-in law. Again, not really something that came up over coffee. So I was 0-2 on the preparation front.

But in spite of the lack of preparation, breastfeeding has been successful. Jayden hasn't had a drop of formula and only one time has he had a bottle. And if you haven't noticed from the pictures, he's growing fine, more than fine really. He's off the charts.

(Regarding that one bottle, during the first week, when Jayden was still trying to figure out how to latch on and I had a TON of milk meaning that it made it even more difficult for him to latch on, he would understandably get so upset. Oftentimes this would happen in the middle of the night so one night, much to my dismay, we decided to feed some pumped milk to Jayden from a bottle. A major no-no because it's especially important those first few weeks that the baby only feed from the breast so there's no nipple confusion. I was so upset that we had given him a bottle that I didn't even consider giving him a bottle again until he was 8 weeks old.)

Anyway it's made me wonder why I've been successful with breastfeeding. Why, when I often give up with other less demanding situations, have I been able to stick it through with this particular thing? And I think it comes down to the fact that I wanted it to work so badly. If any of you know me well, you know that I can be stubborn. OK, I can be really stubborn. A lot of times that quality works against me, but in this case I think that's really all I had going for me. Had I not wanted it to work so badly, I don't think Jayden would have been breastfed past the first 2 weeks. It was incredibly demanding, painful and frustrating. But I kept going because in my mind, if I would have quit, I would have felt like a HUGE failure. And I just couldn't live with that, always wondering if things would have been different if I just kept going. I felt like I had to deal with the pain and just suck it up but let me tell you, it was not easy. And now I'm so so glad that I did stick with it because Jayden and I have pretty much found our groove.

(Please note that I don't blame anyone or look down on anyone or think anyone is a failure if they didn't breastfeed or didn't breastfeed very long. These are all my own personal sentiments about myself and myself only. The end.) 

Probably about 3 months in, I could say that breastfeeding was no problem. I had pretty much encountered all types of different scenarios at that point, well... except for one place. I absolutely cannot feel comfortable breastfeeding during a church service. Other women can do it. Not me. I leave church and feed Jayden in the reception hall where there's a couch. That would just be too weird to feed Jayden during Mass. But movie theaters, restaurants, friends' houses, family members' homes, malls, anywhere else, I've got it taken care of. In a few years this probably won't seem like such a huge accomplishment but, as my mother has often reminded me since I had Jayden, it is very unusual for me to feel so comfortable just "whipping out a boob" sotospeak, in front of anyone and everyone. (Thank you mom for reminding me that I am no longer as bashful as I once was. Childbirth has a way of doing that to a person.) And anyway, I'm all covered up for heaven's sake.

I definitely hope to share more of my experiences with others like myself, pre-Jayden, and I also hope that, because I do feed Jayden in public, it will become less of an anomaly and there will be a time when people won't even think twice about it. Honestly, the world of blogging has opened my eyes to things that I'm so glad I found out about before I had Jayden. Because others were willing to be frank about their views on breastfeeding (and other "crunchy" topics [FYI, crunchy = earthy, hippy, etc]), I was able to learn from them and in turn, make a great decision for myself and my baby.

I could probably go on and on but I will end here for now and just say that, in case you are wondering, I won't be one of those people that breastfeeds their kid till he's 4 or 5 years old. That will not be me. I may be a little crunchier then some, but I am not THAT crunchy.